Small penises have feelings too.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
