i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
