no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
