MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
there is glitter all over my balls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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