He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work