never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend