I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
