Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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