i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
