If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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