Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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