More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
