why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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