You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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