I wish life had little blips of pornography
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize