Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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