I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
