This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
