didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your cock deserves a montage
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
