are you so shy because you have an std?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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