I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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