There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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