I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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