So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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