your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
