And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
