I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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