I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
