I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Couch. On fire.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
