take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
