Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
