Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this will be a night to untag.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
