I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize