Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize