sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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