Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
