Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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