I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
