D3 body, D1 cock
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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