Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
