Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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