Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
