worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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