and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
