Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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