these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
