I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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