The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
