he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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