while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
