And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
