Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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