i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
