last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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