just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
