When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
