I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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