she woke up with a sticky ear
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
