I look better un-naked...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
