she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
