Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it glows. i had to have it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
