bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize