im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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