He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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