Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
