I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
God I need to hump something, right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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