why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
