Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
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She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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